Benjamin J Newland

A friend passed this on to me and it is WAY to good not to share. I'm putting it into my personal recipe book just for kicks.

Enjoy! (whatever the cost >:-)

Bolognese Machiavelli

Via Brendan Adkins of ommatidia.org

1. Arrange to have garlic and onions cast into hot oil.
2. The carrot and celery you must divide against themselves. Ground beef, too, shall turn upon the burner; crush any coherent resistance with a spoon of wood. Sautee until no hint of blood remains to stain your hands.
3. Perhaps, in a dark place without witnesses, the tomato shall meet with the knife.
4. The basil and parsley you may use without consequence. For long minutes, all shall be muddled and roil on the surface of the flame.
5. If it is most advantageous, store cold for the proper day.

Clearly my peeps like food. The Spicy Peanut Sauce recipe last week drew way more hits that my normal fare (food pun!). Who am I to argue? Today's BenZen shall be another recipe from The Sauceonomicon, which I give to you for free, but only if you promise you'll read the short story I'm going to post this Friday. Promise? OK then.

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Gazpacho
Compiled from several recipes

• 2 large (28 oz.) cans tomatoes
• 1 cucumber
• 1/2 red onion
• 1 jalapeno
• 4 cloves garlic
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/8 cup red wine vinegar
• 1/8 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1 tsp. dried basil
• 1 tsp. salt
• Ground black pepper to taste

Grind everything together in a blender, in batches. Stir batches together in a large bowl. Let stand overnight if possible. Serve chilled.
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I used to really hate gazpacho. I mean, it's basically runny salsa without chips right? Then, in Montreal for some reason, the soup of the day is gazpacho, and it's really hot out, and I think, What the hell? It was so good!

Now that I live in a south-facing Condo with lots of window and no AC, summer cooking tends to be done at midnight or without heat. It took some experimentation to get the recipe just the way I like it, but now Gazpacho is a staple July through September.

It's easy to blend up a batch. Add more or less garlic as you like, throw in a green bell pepper for more bulk, seed the jalapeno or not as you see fit. Hopefully you have a few more warm, sunny days left where you live, and can put this to use.

Bon Appetit!

When I lived in Kansas City, I took several classes from the Culinary Center of Kansas City. A fresh graduate of seminary, and out on my own pretending to be an adult, I figured I ought to learn how to cook. Not that I couldn't cook at all, but I wanted some mad skillz (as the kids say). I started with the 101 classes and learned all about the basic techniques and skills, then moved on to some more varied courses.

Then I met Jieun, and all of a sudden I have an Asian girlfriend to impress, so I signed up for some oriental cooking classes. I learned to make a few kinds of Dim Sum, and Jieun and I did indeed end up making fresh spring rolls together.

The two recipes I still have from this place are both sauces. I give you the first of them today. You know that peanut sauce you get when you order spring rolls at a Thai place, or a Pho restaurant? Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

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Spicy Peanut Sauce
From the Culinary Center of Kansas City

2 Tbsp. smooth peanut butter
1 ½ tsp. tomato paste
¼ cup hoisin sauce
1 tsp. sugar
1/3 cup water
1 tsp. oil
1 ½ tsp minced garlic
1 tsp. crushed red pepper

In a small bowl, combine peanut butter, tomato paste, hoisin, sugar, and water. Blend until smooth. Heat a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Add oil, heat until hot and add garlic and red pepper. Fry 5 seconds. Add peanut butter mixture, stir to blend, and cook 3 to 4 minutes, until thickened. Remove from heat. Cool slightly. Serve warm or at room temperature. For garnish, chopped peanuts may be added to the top. Can be covered and refrigerated for up to a week.
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I'm not sure what "fry 5 seconds" is supposed to mean. I cook it maybe a minute, until the garlic gets just a tiny bit brown. Don't breathe deeply while standing over the pan at this point. You can increase or decrease the amount of crushed red pepper to meet your personal
Seriously, this sauce is amazing. It's not specifically low-fat or low-calorie, but a tiny bit of it goes a long ways, so it fits into a heart healthy diet pretty well. Give it a try.

During the second week of October I’ll be attending a week-long professional development conference called CREDO. Sponsored by the Church Pension Group (official motto: “And You Thought Apple Had a Large Cash Reserve”), CREDO is a multi-faceted vocational retreat, including financial, spiritual, health, and educational components.

CREDO is fairly involved—there are plenty of tasks to complete before the conference even begins. One of those tasks is to collect and submit several pieces of health data. I went into the lab last Tuesday to donate a small amount of blood for testing. Later that evening I checked my email and had a message from my doctor. Apparently I failed the blood test.

High Cholesterol is a fairly common problem. I’m sure many of you have dealt with it. I’m told I have too many LDLs (the bad kind): you’re allowed 100 of these bad boys and I have 191. I can either start taking cholesterol controlling medication or I can radically change my diet. I don’t like the idea of taking a pill every day for the rest of my life, though obviously I will if I have to. I’ve decided to try fixing my eating habits first, and getting more exercise. The exercise part is easy for me; I actually enjoy many kinds of physical activities—it’s just a matter of making the time.

The food part is very much more difficult. I’m not on a specific diet, I just have a set of rules that I have to follow very strictly until those LDLs stop having a party in my veins. 1) minimal to no cholesterol. 2) minimal fats in general. 3) minimal sugar/simple carbs. And 4) less salt. Essentially, I can eat chicken or fish, steamed vegetables, and whole grains.

The new regimen is seriously annoying, but has led to two interesting developments this past week. First, in an effort to make steamed chicken and broccoli more appetizing, I went through my collection of recipes and pulled out all the low-fat sauces I could find. There were actually a great many of these. I am compiling a personal recipe book which I have dubbed The Sauceonomicon. I will be sharing these recipes occasionally here on this BenZen.

Second, to motivate myself towards more exercise, I’ve entered a race at the end of October called the Gladiator Rock & Run. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Warrior Dash? Same idea. It’s a 5k run with 14 different obstacles along the way. You run awhile, you climb over a giant pile of old tires. You run a bit more, you scale an 8 foot wall. More running, and a scramble over cargo-netting draped shipping containers. Finally, a mud crawl over the finish line. It’s like an obstacle course for adults. Adults who are a little crazy.

If you, like me, are a little crazy, come join me! I’ve set up a team (The New Land Manifesto) so we can all test the course together. Shoot me an email and I’ll send you the details.